My mom just got back from her first swimming class at the YMCA.

She's explaining how she was given a short orientation before class, with the YMCA woman explaining how the group was founded to teach Christian values.

Dad: did you tell them you had no values?
Mom: I bit my tongue.

This is sort of a Jewish inside joke, because a large part of the world doesn't realize that "values" exists outside of religious systems. That's one big thing Jews have in common with atheists - the assumption (by non-Jews/atheists) that our lack of a Christianity-based value system = constant depravity, lawlessness, etc.

I don't know. I had some brushes with Christian-y organizations when I was younger, and they mainly taught me (and the other kids in the organization) clever ways to be horrible people. Some day I will tell the story about how something like 30 kids in my high school graduating class of 200-ish ended up as junkies. Or the time my Boy Scout troop set a car on fire.

I'm not saying the Jewish organizations I belonged to were much better... but at least they recognized the futility of teaching "values" to 15-year-old boys.

Do I look like a coke dealer?

Two different people tried to buy coke from me last night.

WTF?

I told 'em I could obtain coke, but it would take an hour or two (I will do anything for drunk people, even waking up a dealer I don't really know, who probably doesn't even have any coke).  Apparently they needed coke NOW, because each of them wandered away, looking for someone with a more fastfood approach to drug dealing.
So, in conclusion:  I do not carry drugs around town.  If you need drugs, please talk to someone a lot cooler than me.


PS:  Have you heard Deltron 3030 yet?  It has given me religion.

I'll probably be spending tomorrow writing and mailing postcards.

Things that will be discussed through the post:

1) the weather, concepts of heat, humidity of my crotch
2) food, the food I miss, effects of various food on my crotch
3) friendliness of Turkish citizens, how this friendliness does not tend to extend to my crotch
4) aesthetics of trees n' flowers, crisis of public space in Istanbul, how I might trim crotch hair for the greater good
5) Turkish architecture, video games, ways in which my penis may be used as a board on which planitarium style laser shows are presented in order to delight families

See, the stuff before the first comma is for basic strangers like my extended family.  The stuff before the second comma is for my friends.  And the last group of topics is for anyone I've had an embarrassing/uncomfortable sexual relationships with in the past.  I like to keep my ex's on their collective toes.

Want to figure out what category you're in?  Send me your address!  Unless it proves horribly expensive to mail everything.  Or I get too bored to finish.

Really, as long as the readers of this blog are forced to contemplate what philosophies lie behind my pubic hair maintenance, I'll be happy.

Cheney's chagrined that his shots went astray.
But that's just cause Cheney Don't want to be sued.
He'll aim for your torso, Or even your head.

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The cool part about being in IT - you just wander into someone's office pushing a cart loaded with computer crap, and then they do everything they can to help you use their computer.  Sometimes even seeming to flee from their desk.  DO NOT FEAR ME FOR I AM A BENEVOLENT GOD.  I BEAR TWIN TABLETS OF DDR2 PC2-5300 RAM.  GIVE ME YOUR VIRGINS.

On that note - anyone wanna buy some RAM?  The biggest I've got is 512mb, but I've got lots of flavors:

SDRAM PC100
SDRAM PC133
DDR PC2100
DDR PC2700
DDR PC3200

Cheap!