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29 February 2008 @ 04:15 pm
Listening to Tokyo Police Club's new album. I only mention that because it fits my mood so well. Something about working in the afternoons, with the sun shining on my keyboard.

My brother stopped by for lunch - I'm actually really enjoying only seeing him every few months - it's fun to see how he's grown between visits, and I'm glad to realize he's becoming more like the person he wants to be every time I see him.

Creme Soda! I've been drinking the shit out of that stuff. The co-op next door sells a few million varieties of it, and I've decided to try a different brand every day until I die. This may limit my travel options somewhat.

I'm looking forward to the weekend, even though I'll be more busy over the next two days than I was over the last week of school and work. I think I've got three deadlines on Monday, and I've only been able to start two of them, which means 5000ish words will have to magically appear sometime soon.

I sort of got in an argument with False's lead editor yesterday.  I'm using an idea I had originally pitched to False for an article in Pine Magazine, and I may not have notified her about the switch as quickly or directly as I should have.  Anyway, she accused me of "ultra-ambition," and I've been trying to make sense of the word as applied to me since rereading her email for the seventh time this morning.  Do I seem ambitious?  The only thing I've ever wanted in life was to be deliriously happy at all times, and I don't think that's particularly ambitious.  I guess all my recent scrappin' for writing work may seem ambitious, but I'm only making this effort because I'm sure that writing for a living has a fairly high chance of letting me be happy forever.

I don't know.  Gonna go ride bikes with the Critical Mass people, then maybe play some Jenga with the brother.
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Dallas: anastasialipsoflove on March 1st, 2008 04:02 am (UTC)
Was that your brother at Casino Night?
He looked a lot like you. I guess that is what brothers are supposed to do.
Not Actually Borgesbushidobrown on March 1st, 2008 04:04 pm (UTC)
Yeah, and he's two years younger than me!
Dallas: anastasialipsoflove on March 2nd, 2008 03:23 am (UTC)
As far as the ambition thing goes, I like your side of the argument. You just want to be happy; what's so crazy about that? That's what all the children's books tell you to do.

I'm beginning to realize as I get older that a lot of people don't want others to be happy - not because they are vindictive or anything - but because they don't really know what happiness is, let alone knowing how to go about achieving it.

In a world that now needs instant gratification, when we leave school, (or in current times, before we leave school), we need a job, a house/apartment, and someone around who won't annoy us too much. We don't care how we get these three things or how they fit in our lives - we just need them because that's what society says we need.

So ten years later, when we're at a therapist crying because we hate our jobs, are divorced, and in a neighborhood we don't like or can't afford, we wonder how we got there.
I think it all goes back to choosing what sounds right over what feels right.

We would rather be sitting miserably in a three-bedroom house with a two-and-a-half kids working a nine to five, than happily in a shithole apartment being the artist we always wanted to be. A lot of us are afraid that happiness won't get us what we need in the material world.
redline6561redline6561 on March 3rd, 2008 03:29 pm (UTC)
Fuckin' a.